As President Trump ups the ante on his plan to pressure Denmark into promoting Greenland, the Danes are pushing again with a satirical provide to buy California.
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As Congress considers a invoice to buy Greenland and rename it “Red, White and Blueland,” Danes have proposed an equally comical provide — the U.S. can have Greenland if Denmark can have California.
“Have you ever looked at a map and thought, ‘You know what Denmark needs? More sunshine, palm trees, and roller skates,’” the petition learn. “Well, we have a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to make that dream a reality. Let’s buy California from Donald Trump!”
“Yes, you heard that right,” it added. “California could be ours, and we need your help to make it happen.”
The petition, which has almost 220,000 signatures, says the deal could be mutually useful for Californians and Danes. Danes would get entry to California’s tech and leisure innovation, simpler entry to the state’s bountiful stock of avocados — though they need to be cautious of avocado toast’s damaging influence on the housing market — and possession of Disneyland, which they’ll instantly rename Hans Christian Andersenland.
On the flip facet, Californians will discover ways to reside the hygge life, a Danish and Norwegian phrase that describes a life-style centered on slowing down and having fun with easy pleasures. The Beverly Hills elite will be capable of ditch their automobiles after the Danes add some much-needed bike lanes, and there shall be an natural smørrebrød (i.e. open-faced rye sandwiches) stand on each avenue nook.
Lastly, the Danes have promised to supply free common healthcare and “fact-based politics,” two issues that may soften their final requirement — renaming California to New Denmark.
The deal, they mentioned, will embrace a purchase order value of $1 trillion and a lifetime provide of Danish pastries, one thing they imagine shall be irresistible to President Trump as he eyes Greenland.
“Let’s be honest — Trump isn’t exactly California’s biggest fan. He’s called it ‘the most ruined state in the Union’ and has feuded with its leaders for years,” the petition learn. “We’re pretty sure he’d be willing to part with it for the right price.”
“So, what do you say, Denmark?” it added. “Let’s make history and buy California. Together, we can bring a little bit of Danish magic to the Golden State – and maybe even teach them how to pronounce ‘rødgrød med fløde.’ Sign now, and let’s make New Denmark a reality!”
The satirical provide comes on the heels of President Trump’s push to pry Greenland from Denmark, which owns, however doesn’t govern, the island nation.
Trump’s obsession with Greenland comes from the nation’s place within the Arctic, an space that’s been vital to the U.S. navy for the reason that Chilly Conflict. The U.S. was ready to make use of the GIUK hole — the casual title for the stretch of water between Greenland, Iceland and the U.Ok. — to maintain Soviet submarines at bay.
The GUIK hole has develop into extra vital in recent times as local weather change breaks the Arctic’s ecosystem and opens once-frozen waterways. In 2021, China unveiled a five-year plan that features elevated navy presence within the Arctic. In the meantime, Russia, which stretches throughout 53 p.c of Arctic coastlines, has asserted its possession over the planet’s northernmost ocean.
“I think Greenland will be worked out with us. I think we’re going to have it. And I think the people want to be with us,” Trump mentioned in an announcement on Jan. 26. “I don’t know really what claim Denmark has to it. But it would be a very unfriendly act if they didn’t allow that to happen because it’s for the protection of the free world. It’s not for us, it’s for the free world.”
Trump and Secretary of State Marco Rubio proceed to drift the concept of buying Greenland, regardless of Danish and Greenlander legislators frequently shutting down the deal.
”Greenland is just not on the market,” Danish Prime Minister Mette Frederiksen mentioned in a public assertion throughout a current go to to Greenland. “Greenland is not Danish. Greenland belongs to Greenland. I strongly hope that this is not meant seriously.”
“We have a good cooperation with the USA,” Greenland’s authorities added in a separate assertion. “Of course, Greenland is not for sale.”
E mail Marian McPherson
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